Is she settling down with you, or settling for you?


Does she think of you as mate or meat?
Take our quiz to find out if you’re the One … or the one left.


The Spermjacker

This lady has kept an excel spreadsheet tracking her ovulation temperatures for the past three years and likely presented it to you on your fourth date. She showcases ‘borderline OCD organization’ as one of her adorable quirks (well, wouldn’t she just make a fine homemaker). She has a plan and needs a donor, I mean, a partner. If you make a decent living, are moderately good looking and embarrass yourself socially less than 85% of the time, she is probably poking holes in condoms as we speak.


The Bitch

If you haven’t read ‘Why Men Marry Bitches’ it would probably help you understand why you like this girl. She isn’t settling down with you, but she definitely isn’t settling for you, either. She wouldn’t dare waste her time with someone who wasn’t good enough for her – so take that as a compliment. On the other hand, you’re not her ideal, either, but if you play it by ear and don’t push it too fast she may well settle down because of you.


The One

You are her ideal, and she is yours. Your lives fit perfectly, your interests and goals complement each other’s. She has taken careful stock of who you would be as a partner and chosen you over other comparable options. She is ready to settle down with you and invest in a future together. Just be sure to invest similarly in adequate insurance, since you’ve got a 50% shot at best of that sentiment lasting as long as the diamond you buy her.