My Version of Commitment

October 17, 2011 by

 My Version of Commitment I never meet women at the gym. I’m not nuts about working out, so I just like to get in and get out quickly. Plus, everyone wears iPods now, so talking to people is a whole procedure and I just avoid it. However, sometimes fate lends a hand. The other day the following three things happened to me all at once: I forgot my iPod; I was only one of two people in the cardio room; and the other person was a mad hottie.

The gym pickup is a complicated deal. Basically, you’re just jockeying for a chance to speak to the person without being out-of-breath, without being too sweaty and without interrupting their workout. So when I saw this tall, slim brunette in Lululemon looking pretty without makeup, I decided to try to make it work. I make eye contact with her, smile, she smiles back. Game on.

Problem was, every time I’d get a chance to approach her, she’d climb onto another machine or go to get a drink of water or otherwise unknowingly frustrate my attempts at love. I gave up and started focusing on my workout. Finally, when I think she’s already left and I’m about done myself, she pops out from behind a Stairmaster and introduces herself.

Elba (terrible name, I know) is a model-slash-actress from another country where they still speak English. She’s tall, pretty and has a great figure. We meet for drinks at my local pub, laugh, flirt and eventually make out. She didn’t want to have sex right away (so cute!) so we went out a couple more times. She drunkenly bragged one night that she has a standing appointment with her Brazilian waxer, every two weeks. “Like a baby’s ass.” I tell Elba that I want to take her to my place.

So here’s a new one: Elba did not want to have sex with me without a commitment. “What’s that?” I asked her with a straight face. She explained how she felt about me, how she doesn’t like to sleep around and other important things. I waited until she was done before explaining my version of commitment.

I like to have sex without the impediment of a condom. I don’t do it, because it’d be irresponsible and not cool, but I still like it. So when I date a woman exclusively, my way of demonstrating commitment is by trusting her enough to have unprotected sex with her. You can say whatever you want, "I love you", "We’re exclusive" "Whatever" but sharing that level of trust with another person is an actual commitment. For reals.

So I explained it to her thusly, and we agreed to go (separately) to get tested for STDs. Not very romantic, I realize, but that’s the mature thing to do.

Think I’m starting to grow up? To be continued...

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