Angry Boyfriends – Part One

December 26, 2011 by

 Angry Boyfriends – Part One Boyfriends are so annoying. They are like the telemarketers that call me during the middle of dinner. They are like the birds that chirp on Saturday morning when I am trying to sleep. They are like ugly girls who think they are the hottest s*** ever. I can keep this list going about what grinds my gears, but it would take an eternity. However, top of the list are boyfriends. Boyfriends are my arch nemeses; I must destroy them.

A lot of people ask me how I can douche these guys without feeling any remorse or guilt. The truth is that the world is not a friendly place, and I learned this back when I left home to live on my own when I was 16. I saw the world from life at the bottom, and it’s really a matter of survival. It’s survival of the fittest, bitches! If karma exists, then I will be getting mine really terrible in the future, but if it doesn’t happen, then it’s like getting away with murder. Ultimately, it’s on the girlfriends, not on me–I don’t have a beef with the guys; I don’t even know them. It’s the girlfriends who are hurting them–not me. I do have one rule, though; I would never douche any of my friends. However, if you were once my friend and now an enemy, you better hold on tight to your girl 'cause you’re on my hit list.

In my crew, we have the Douchebag Awards that are coming up next year. These are awards to recognize individuals for exceptional performances throughout the year in The Game. I hereby nominate myself for the Girlfriend Stealer Award. Every time I kiss-close or f-close one of these girls, I pat myself on the back and congratulate myself. LOL!

Maybe occasionally, I go too far and regret some stuff. Just recently I was driving, and I get a phone call from a boyfriend of one of the girls I am gaming. This guy starts cussing me out and tells me to never call his girlfriend ever again or else I am going to get jumped.


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