Lover's High

January 30, 2012 by

 Lover’s High "To lose balance sometimes for love is part of living a balanced life."—Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

Recently, I’ve been traveling a lot for work and a lot of plane time equals a lot of movie time. While watching the film adaptation of Eat Pay Love, I found myself drift off into my own little world upon hearing the above quote.

I’m not sure if I even realized until then that the strong sense of feeling unbalanced is a normal part of new love…a feeling all too commonly shared.

At the beginning of my last relationship (yes, the one that began in Cancun, Mexico), I was overwhelmed with the highs and lows that accompanied it.

For one, it had been years since I had feelings like that for a guy; and second, he didn’t live in the same city. So, when he would let me know he was coming to town, my heart would immediately start racing and I remained beyond excited until his arrival. When he was visiting, the "lover’s high" was so intense I could actually stay up ALL night with him and properly function the next day at work. Seriously; one night I actually didn’t sleep a wink and then worked a full eight-hour day.

But when he’d go back home after a couple days or a weekend, I was left with this unbelievable sadness…as if I was never going to see him again.

One weekend in particular, we had the most incredible time, yet that Sunday when I was sharing stories with a friend, I was so somber and pessimistic about it all. I remember expressing that I felt so unbalanced I would almost rather be single and emotionally live my life on an even keel, then go through the highs and lows of being in a new relationship.

Of course my friends all told me it was silly, and encouraged me to embrace these highs and the lows…because without the lows, the highs don’t seem quite as high. And really, the lows were merely me missing the person that brought me so much joy and a time to look forward and anticipate the next visit.

Now, having been single for six months (due to the fact that my Vancouver dreamboat lives, well, in Vancouver: see previous post for details), I would take numerous "low" days just to have one more day of “lover’s high.”

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