Starts Early Part Two

December 19, 2011 by

Starts Early Part Two

My five year old nephew...has a girlfriend. A serious girlfriend.

My sister and her husband have childhood friends who had a daughter around the same time as my nephew was born...

It was love at first sight with the two of them...

At five years old, the little girl goes around telling everyone my nephew is her boyfriend...

The flirt...they get shy....their faces light up when they see one another...

But God help us if another little girl comes around looking for my nephew's attention...the little girl starts telling the other girl that my nephew is her boyfriend and to leave them alone. No joke.

All hell breaks loose....

Jealousy...really? That early?

Hell yeah...

My nephew is never given the chance to get jealous...that little girl has eyes for him and him alone.

If a five year old girl can look like she is about to scratch out the eyes of another little girl on the McDonald's playground...if a six year old can sit shivering in the surf for hours yearning for a boy who pushed her there ever hope for a woman to grow out of catty jealousy or nagging behavior?

Is my nephew, who at five can already act aloof and forget his little girl friend is a foot away from him as he infuriates her by flirting with another little girl...(or is it he is doing it for a reaction?), doomed to repeat this pattern? How about that boy in Egypt who retreats into sullenness when sassed and then walks off wordlessly when he's had enough? Will he ever learn?

Patterns are for quilts...not people. So why are they so hard to overcome? Comes down to the question of whether relationship patterns are learned behaviors or if it really is just the way we are made...or how about this...if we even care enough to change them??

Hmm....I believe any pattern can be changed. Any. But it takes conscious acknowledgement and effort to change them.