Sweet Ride

January 2, 2012 by

sweet ride, cars

I’m confused about something. I want to know why guys soup up their cars. Really. I want to know if they think that gigantic spoilers and loud exhausts are attractive to women, and, more importantly, if they actually are.

1. Getting Noticed. Sure, UV lights under the chassis and an exhaust system that sounds like a broken muffler will get you noticed. I will notice that there is a douchebag who knows how to drive. Do you really want women thinking that you’d rather spend money on LED’s than on dinner and a movie? Also, turn down the bass. It is about to shake your cheap body kit off.

2. The Prestige. You want everyone to know that you have lots of money? So much that you can spend it frivolously on your car? Congratulations. You’ve managed to drastically reduce the value of a Ford Focus. As if by magic.

3. Performance. Some people actually spend money on properly souping up a car. They do things like add a turbocharger, drop in a bigger engine, or rig up a nitrous injection system. But most people just spend that money on gull wing doors and rims without the car actually being able to live up to its image. You’ve now weighed down your four cylinder Civic to the point where 0-60 isn’t even an option.

I guess that having a shiny, loud car will attract a certain kind of woman. I’ve seen it happen. That’s great. You can cruise up and down the street at 20 km/h for hours together for all I care. But, and I hate to be cheesy here, it’s not the size of your spoiler. It’s what’s under the hood that counts.