Meeting Felicity Part One

September 12, 2011 by

meeting Felicity

My job requires me to sit around a lot, waiting for my turn with others who do what I do. Usually I’m surrounded by old white men, but the other day I found myself sitting beside an absolute porn star in a tight-fitting business suit. Early twenties, brunette, nice tan, sexy high heels and massive breasts with spectacularly deep cleavage. At work. Tuesday morning. Unbelievable.

The universe is rarely so generous, so when it is I try to capitalize. I start joking around with her, asking her why she’s so ‘done-up’, did she know I was going to be there that day, etc. She was probably bored like I normally am, because she seemed to welcome the diversion and responded amiably. Soon afterward our laughter makes a bit of a scene, so I scribble my Blackberry PIN on a paper and hand it to her. Five minutes of furious flirting via text and we’re set to meet for drinks at my local pub after work.

Turns out she lives not-too-far from my place, and knows the bar. She shows up looking incredible: hourglass figure in jeans and a cute little hoodie, hard cleavage fighting to escape the confines of her push-up bra. As we talked and drank our martinis, I found myself wondering if her magnificent chest was the product of augmentation. I also found it hard not to stare; I am a very simple creature at heart. And as for whether or not they were real, let me tell you this: I hoped they were fake because I love fake breasts.

They’re bigger, they look better, and they’re way more reliable.

Time can be cruel to our bodies, and breasts are no exception. Fake breasts, however, really hang in there. So long as they aren’t ridiculously big. Sideshow-big breasts are just depressing. But seriously, if a woman isn’t happy with something about herself, such as her rack, then she should do something to change it. I don’t like the ‘suffer in silence’ type. I prefer the ‘here’s a problem, let’s fix it’ type of woman. Strong and aggressive females always knock me out.

And Felicity was clearly one of them. To be continued...

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